“Stay away from her Trina. She’s bad influence.” I said.
“But she’s new and has no friends Mommy, I have to be nice.” You replied.
You’re only 9yo and it’s times like those I find myself humbled. Or when you beg for me to let the annoying bug live instead of flushing it down the toilet. I can’t bear to see you feeling guilty for being scared so I let it go. I have never let so many bugs free in my life until you.
I’m grateful for the tears you cry when you get lectured by your Dad and/or me. Not because I’m some sick person, but because you cry for thinking you broke our hearts and not because you’re scared or feel mistreated. Thank you for thinking of us at times like that when you as a child should naturally think of us as some evil dictators.
You know how you carefully study my face to see if I’m upset even though all you did was forget to put your coat away? I hope you’ll stop doing that. I hope you’ll learn soon that you’ll never, ever break our hearts especially over small things like those. I have told you this many times but I’ll say it again. You can’t do anything to make us love you any less.
When I squirm because baby kicked a little too hard, I appreciate you pointing at my belly and saying firmly, “Hey, stop kicking Mommy.” I think it’s really cute how you’ve already begun to interact with your brother even though you can’t see him.
Remember last year when I was really sick all the time? Remember when I walked to your school to pick you up anyways? You got so worried that I was out of bed and told me that I shouldn’t have come. You held the umbrella back home because you said I shouldn’t be carrying anything heavy. Thank you for that too.
Thank you for carrying all the heavy stuff up and down the stairs. I know you think of me as some superhero but you’ve been saving my days lately. I don’t think I could have survived even half the summer without your help. Thanks for freaking out earlier today because I tried to carry your heavy school supplies to the car. Things like that really shows how much you care.
And hey, Trina. Thanks for never denying a single request I make. Whether it be from getting me a cup of water to scrubbing the crap out of the bathroom, you have never, ever said “no” to me. Thank you so much for that.
I told you once that when you were growing in my belly I prayed and prayed for a little girl like you. You came out exactly like the person I’ve hoped for and so much better. Your heart and soul is so beautiful that I know you are meant to be someone great. God couldn’t have allowed such a Wonder slip through His fingers without a special purpose in mind.
Anyways, here’s to another school year and what heck of a school year it’s going to be! Not only are you the “big fish” at school, but you’ll soon be an older sister too! I can’t wait to watch you lead your little brother with the wisdom you’ve already gained so early in age. What a lucky little boy he is to have a sister that every little kid loves to be around. :)
P.S. thanks for teaching me to show mercy to bugs Trina. I’ve grown so brave and immune to their grossness.
P.P.S. Your Dad appreciates you not having a boyfriend yet because “He said so.”
I love you, ya lil’ booga. Happy first day of school, yesterday.